KAPOW!  I kicked it up a notch, again, on the treadmill today.  I went back to 40 minutes, all at 3 MPH…  however, today I did 2 sets of 10 minute intervals GOING UP HILL at 4.0!  “Holy heart failure Batman!” (yes, he really said this:   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHjRwCu6yBY ) and no, no one actually  had to perform CPR…

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WHOA!!!  I TOTALLY ROCKED THE TREADMILL TODAY!  Master of the machine, slave to none, kicked mechanical booty!   I FEEL LIKE WONDER WOMAN!  I wrapped my knee for the first time and then found the incline button of doom on the “beast” but conquered it all!  Now, keep in mind this whole euphoric experience did not come without it’s own set of challenges:  ever try to use an ace wrap on a squishy triangle?

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First Day at the Gym…

February 22, 2010

This is NOT why I am joining a gym!

So I started out by stopping at the local gas station to get a bottle of water (my to-go coffee mugs and hospital sized water mugs… you know the kind with the permanent bendy straw… weren’t going to cut it)… you would think this would be as simple as running in and grabbing a bottle, right?  No.  I had to decide between spring, designer, pop top, screw top, smart, mineral enhanced, large, small… you get the idea.  I went for the one with the flip top thinking it would be really  handy (no spill) while working out.

On the way to the gym I was a little thirsty so I figured I’d “hydrate” myself before hitting the machines (that’s what they call it “hitting the machines”).  I couldn’t open the danged flip top!  I am doing everything short of biting the lid off trying to open this thing (thinking “wow, you really do need to do some strength training!”) and finally resorted to using my key to pop it up.  This of course resulted in water squirting all over the right leg of my sweats.  Oh well, who cares… I am here in the parking lot, time to go in.

I was sort of bummed I didn’t get to use my little swipey card they assigned me when i joined… as a very young, fit and quite nimble 20 something gal (we’ll call her “Barbie”) was going in and I just sort of slid in behind her.  I’m in.  Now what?  I made a list at home so I wouldn’t forget anything and just realized I didn’t bring my towel.   CRAP!   Oh well, carry on.  She is putting her stuff in the cubicle cubbies by the door, I politely state it is my first time here and is this where we put our stuff (duh!)?  She was very sweet and just said “ya”.  Thanks Barbie.

Oh ya, headphones!  i got my purse back out of the cubbies and put my headphones in my blackberry (I had purchased them last summer during a layover at Denver International Airport to listen to music, and just a month ago…  months later… finally figured out how to put music on my phone!  Bravo!  It was a worthy purchase after all!).  Water, check.  Music, check.  Phone on silent, check.

I decided ahead of time I would warm up on the treadmill for 10 minutes and then move on to the elliptical.  I climbed aboard the treadmill (2 down from Barbie), put in my weight (hoping that Barbie wasn’t looking) and set the pace to go.  So far so good.  I adjusted it from 2.0 miles per hour up to 2.5!  I am amazing!  Who cares if Barbie is now running up hill like a gazelle, I am moving!

10 minutes on the treadmill done!  I am amazing!

I head over to the elliptical, put my water bottle in the little holder (not as easy to find as the one on the treadmill), put my feet in the stirrups and look at the programmable “dashboard” like a deer in the headlights.  I have used these before, had them show me how to use it when I joined, but I am totally drawing a blank!  After fiddling for a few minutes I got it going. I had entered my weight, set is at level 3 (they recommended level 3 or 4, I was being safe) and off i go.  OH MY GOD!  I am going to have a heart attack!  I have been doing this 3 minutes, have sweat running down my bright red face and my heart is racing!  I have already taken it to level 1 (from 3) and still my heart feels like it is going to pole vault out of my chest onto the poor girl next to me.  After 3 minutes and 36 seconds i wobbly step off the elliptical machine and slink back to the treadmill.  Just a minor setback, don’t give up!

Back in the safety of the treadmills arms.  I have no idea how I did it but I programmed it for 20 minutes and off I went.  I eventually bumped it up to 3.0 MPH and felt like a rock star.  Then I really started sweating.  Having left my towel at home I decided to just use the front of my shirt to wipe my forehead… oh brother.  For someone who has a hard time walking and chewing gum I DON’T recommend covering (or even closing) your eyes when on a treadmill.  While wiping my beet red forehead I lost my groove (my pace) and almost got thrown off the back end of the treadmill!  I was suddenly aware of how close to the back of the treadmill I really was.  In my flailing about to stay on the treadmill I also succeeded in pulling my blackberry off the little shelf of the treadmill.  So here I am trying to  stay on the treadmill, pulling my blackberry up by the earphone cords before it hits the walking surface and trying to maintain a little dignity all at the same time.  A quick glance to my left confirmed Barbie didn’t see a thing, or at least she was kind enough to not have her jaw agape in sheer terror.  Carry on, only 14 minutes to go.

I did it!  I completed my first work out!  I did not, at any time, get spit off the back end of the treadmill, fall, have a heart attack or even worse… give up.

As I climbed off the treadmill I had to stop and regain my “sea legs”.  It was truly amazing how even though I was standing perfectly still the floor was still moving under me. I inched my way over to the paper towel dispenser and grabbed the spray bottle and a hand full of paper towels.  I dutifully cleaned the machines I had used, still hoping the floor would stop moving, it would suck to fall now!

Back in my car.  I did it.  My goodness my legs feel weird.

Tomorrow I will remember my towel and I am headed to the internet to find an arm strap for my blackberry.   I feel amazing, shaky, but amazing.