Day 21: Screw Snow White and her cute little dwarfs
March 15, 2010
I have heard exercise is supposed to improve your mood. I was hoping I’d hit the gym, get on the treadmill and be all happy like freakin’ Snow White; doves landing on my finger, Bambi and Thumper running along side of me and little sparrows tying bows in my hair. I got squat. Where are the endorphins?
I am feeling very frail emotionally as my 23-year-old son, who’s had 2 brain surgeries since October, is having another this Thursday AND I CAN’T GO THIS TIME. I am very frustrated, depressed, scared.. you name the emotion and I am feeling it. So going to the gym today wasn’t a party. I found it challenging to go in, challenging to stay on the 40 minutes, challenging to do the incline and challenging to not let my mind constantly be on my son. I turned Lady Gaga up in my ear, hoping to drown out last nights nightmares, and it didn’t work… all that happened is my ears are now ringing.
I admit I feel better in the simple fact that I didn’t sit on the couch in a nervous snit, I keep thinking I will be thankful a month from now I kept it up when I didn’t feel like it, but, I was hoping a good serotonin/endorphin rush would kick in. I guess hoping exercising was a magical fix all is expecting too much. Just a hard day.
Screw Snow White, I’m cheering for the witch today.